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Relive History the Fun Way

Strange de Jim's Late-Night TV Zinger Collection

March 2008

3/4/08: Jimmy Kimmel: "Hillary's people accused Obama's people of trying to throw a bucket of water on her and make her melt."

3/5/08: Craig Ferguson: "Project Runway is like American Gladiators, but less gay."

3/11/08: Dave Letterman on disgraced NY governor Eliot Spitzer: "There but for a declined credit card go I."
J a y Leno: "A woman was accused of putting Viagra in the company drinking water. That was really hard water."

3/12/08: Stephen Colbert: "Eliot Spitzer: whore today, gone tomorrow. Where will he find solace? We should have suspected from his bumper sticker: 'My Other Ride Is a Hooker.'"
D ave Letterman: "Spitzer left his resignation on the night table with a $300 tip. Hookers in Times Square are wearing black armbands."
Jimmy Kimmel: "Spitzer didn't like to use condoms, which was just the cherry on top of the cake for his wife."

3/13/08: Jay Leno on Spitzer: "Horton Hires a Ho."
Dave Letterman: "Now Spitzer's looking for a job. That's what got him in trouble in the first place."

3/14/08: Dave Letterman: "We have all these crises. I just hope the President doesn't find out."
J ay Leno showed a clip of a hooker saying she wouldn't name clients and then the Senate standing and applauding. "Dr. Kavorkian is running for Congress. Talk about a candidate with skeletons in his closet!" [On the latest fad] "If you eat food off a naked woman, be sure to wear a condiment."

3/15/08: SNL Amy Poehler on Spitzer: "Seems like the whistle blower was having his whistle blown." Seth Meyers: "The first one voted off American Idol was David Hernandez, a former stripper, and now a current stripper." Tracey Morgan: "Bitch may be the new black, but black is the next President, bitch."

3/18/08: Jay Leno: "A woman is suing American Airlines because the guy next to her was masturbating. Talk about snakes on a plane!"

3/19/08: Jay Leno: "Heather Mills has the wooden leg and the treasure. Now all she needs in the eye patch and parrot."

3/21/08: Joel McHale on The Soup: "Dancing With the Stars features an even number of legs this year, but they have a deaf contestant, who says, 'Read my hips.'" Comedian Kirk Fox: "If they wanted me to pay back my student loan they shouldn't have let me major in anthropology."
Dave Letterman: "Kirstie Alley has stepped down from her job as Jenny Craig spokesperson. Well, technically she was lowered by a crane."

3/24/08: Dave Letterman on Eliot Spitzer leaving his black socks on while sleeping with hookers: "Who does he think he is, Rosie O'Donnell?"

3/25/08: Dave Letterman: "Pamela Anderson goes through husbands like New York goes through governors." "A 93-year-old guy was hiring hookers. That's what happens when Medicare covers Viagra."

3/31/08: Jon Stewart: "Were you at my bar mitzvah?" John Oliver: "No, I wasn't invited. Or living."
Jay Leno "Headlines": Church sign: "Sermon - Discovering God's Willy."

The above is from neatorama.com. Thought bubble barrettes: http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=81028§ion_id=5122145

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