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Relive History the Fun Way

Strange de Jim's Late-Night TV Zinger Collection

December 2006

A supermodel guest told Jay Leno she slipped on a wet floor and her arms and legs went in the air, so Jay threw the water from his cup on the floor.

On Craig Ferguson John Waters said he doesn't like being touched by strangers in a nonsexual way.

On The Daily Show Nathan Lane told Jon Stewart that the play he's in, Butley, "is not gay porn, like Shaving Ryan's Privates and A Fistful of Harold."

Jay Leno's "Headlines" had a grocery ad for "menacemeat pies" and a headline "Search and Rescue Dog Lost."

Jimmy Kimmel reported that Oprah was changing a boy baby on her show, and he peed in her eye: "You don't pee on a billionaire unless you're that baby or Melinda Gates." Jimmy also said Angelina Jolie is willing to sit down with Jennifer Aniston. "See, Middle East!"

The Daily Show reported on the Holocaust Denial Summit meeting in Iran. A group of Nazis was there, and while they didn't admit the Holocaust had happened, they did publish a book: If the Holocaust Had Happened, Here's How We'd Have Done It.

Dave Letterman said that in the new movie Rocky climbs into the ring and then can't remember what he came in there for. On Donald Trump's giving the disgraced Miss U.S.A. a second chance: "You can't overestimate the American male's compassion for a slutty drunk." Also, "Scientists have found the world's smallest vertebrate. It was honeymooning with Katie Holmes."

Jay Leno said the L.A. Diocese was paying $60,000,000 to 45 children who'd been molested. "It's their new policy of leaving the child's behind."

Craig Ferguson: "Women always say what they want in a man is a sense of humor. Yeah, rich guys must be hilarious."

For very peculiar reasons, Conan O'Brien now has a web site called HornyManatee.com that's getting millions of visitors.


Christmas Day Crosswords

The Chronicle said fear of visiting Santa was Claustrophobia, but the winner was the Examiner. "One-L lama" was "Buddhist holy man." Then ""Two-L llama" was "Andes pack animal." They got me, though, with "Three-L lllama," which was "blaze in Brooklyn."

 

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Strange Books


Exercises for opening your heart, lighting up your chakras or energy centers, and believing your dreams into reality.

Click for free text of Visioning.

 

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Can enemies become friends? Watch a blue-collar Catholic neighborhood peacefully add "World's Gay Capital" to its list of attractions.

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What's the secret of True Love, and does it really conquer all?Billions of Virgins in Ecstasy: The Memoirs of Strange de Jim, Ash-Kar Press 2007

 

 

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