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"NOBODY KNOWS I'M A LESBIAN" boasted my tee. Why not let singer Cyndi Lauper be the first to try me out?

Sensing I might be about to usurp his place, my old pal Davis handed me back my camera, hopped back into the front seat, and, of course, posed. Word came that Cyndi was going to be late. Deciding to wander. I immediately struck gold.

Chatting with a future voter was California State Assemblyman and State Senator-elect Mark Leno. Hooray! I got to thank him again for the Certificate of Recognition he wrote for me in April for Billions of Virgins in Ecstasy (see below).

When Given Gifts gave me a signing party for my new book in Harvey Milk's old camera store (where Sean Penn and Gus Van Sant had just finished filming Milk), Mark Leno's aide Anna Damiani (center) stunned me by presenting the certificate below.

After longtime San Francisco gay Supervisor (and Assemblyman-elect) Tom Ammiano finished redecorating his car's back seat, I exchanged greetings with him too.

Actor Leslie Jordan (Sordid Lives, Will & Grace, Ugly Betty) was nice enough to light up when he saw me. I admire a man with no taste.

Siegfried & Roy's protégé, singer/magician Darren Romeo thanked me for having attended his first preview at the Post Street Theatre. I've always found him pretty much a complete sweetie.

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"Look out, Strange." Whoa! Who in the world was this? Surely I'd have remembered meeting him. But off he bounded on his metal springy stilts.

No matter. Here was Mayor Gavin Newsom! We nodded.

Having just been reminded of the book, I immediately ran into five gentlemen who'd also enjoyed San Francisco's Castro — the two producers of Milk (starring Sean Penn, opening in November), Harvey's nephew Stuart Milk, director Gus Van Sant and screenwriter Dustin Lance Black.

Lance told me he has this postcard I'd given him pinned up on his bulletin board. Oh, and the five men above were posing for Uncle Donald, of all people.

Uncle Donald has one of the oldest and best Castro web sites at thecastro.net. He was riding in the parade with Stuart Milk. I snapped him with director Gus Van Sant.

Well of all the ... It was David B, to whom I return all my library books now that the Harvey Milk Branch has been closed for renovation.

This is a 2007 me photoshopped into the future Harvey Milk Branch.

I loved this float. I was carried back to the period when I wrote Visioning.

And this float really took me back to a night that changed my life. Between 1972 and 1997 several hundred of my quips appeared in Herb Caen's column in the San Francisco Chronicle.

In the mid-1970s my celebrity got me invited to the premiere of the stage version of Rocky Horror at the Montgomery Playhouse, Lady Jane Montgomery introduced me to actor/model Cal Culver, star of the movie Boys in the Sand. As I was telling them about a trust walk I'd had, Cal said, "I want one!"

Lady Jane Montgomery and Cal Culver, photos from my bio The Strange Experience, Ash-Kar Press 1980.

The next afternoon as I was guiding Cal blindfolded around the neighborhood, I realized my portable massage table was already set up with clean sheets. I led him to my place, put his hands on the table, and invited him to undress. He loved it. Next day he blindfolded Lady Jane and brought her to me for a massage in which I didn't say a word. Imagine her surprise when she saw me at the end. Then they brought me a blindfolded Bob Dulaney, who played Rocky in Rocky Horror.

Cal Culver the day we invented the Strange Experience. Bob Dulaney (right) after his Strange Experience.

Next came the Count and Countess von Bergdorf and Jake Vreeburg (shown wearing the pillowcase I used to don at public events to protect and advertise my identity as Herb Caen's quipster).

The Count and Countess von Bergdorf cradling Jake Vreeburg.

I was accidentally doing something during the massages that anyone could do, something that was unusual but very simple and incredibly powerful. Soon my social and love lives went platinum. Then I quit concentrating on cuties and massaged thousands of assorted men and women until I learned to produce Shimmering Orgasms (see Billions of Virgins in Ecstasy).

But enough of the past. I hurried back to the red convertible to find Davis and a roadie ushering Mz. Lauper into her car.

A no-nonsense lady, Cyndi immediately started using her long nails to pop balloons, giving herself more room to sit.

I was amazed to see Cyndi hadn't gone commando, but was wearing elegant 350--thread-count white panties!

I was so stunned that off they went before I even thought to ask Cyndi to share my first lesbian experience. Oh well, there's always next year!

Visioning has exercises such as making a wish, relaxing, breathing loving energy up your spine, and then believing your dream into reality. All a lot of hooey? Click here for the entire text free.

The Strange Experience has photos of a hundred friends, including these, willing to say they enjoyed meeting me blindfolded, undressing, and being given a Strange massage. The peculiar circumstances of these Strange Experiences taught me half the secret of True Love.

How do enemies become friends? In the photo history San Francisco's Castro you can actually watch as a blue-collar Catholic neighborhood relatively peacefully adds "World's Gay Capital" to its list of attractions.

Billions of Virgins in Ecstasy tells how I found the secret of Shimmering Orgasms, and then imagines what would happen if everyone learned it.

Herb Caen ran hundreds of my quips in his column in the San Francisco Chronicle. Click for quotes.

In "Strange but true" in the January 23, 2004 issue, the San Francisco Chronicle recapped my career as simple author/town-fool/masseur. Click for article.

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San Francisco's Castro Home / Billions of Virgins in Ecstasy / Other Strange Sites / e-mail Strange