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Castro Photos, Funny Pictures & Late-Night-TV Zingers

by Strange de Jim

November 2009



 

Castro Photos

The Rainbow Flag at Harvey Milk Plaza, shot from the west.

 

I liked this friendly urinal at the Museum of Modern Art.

 

Scott London's Photos

Click for more of Scott London's Burning Man photos

 

Videos

Cloris Leachman isn't a cougar. She's a sabertooth tiger.

 

The new Dubai fountain

 

peter berlin Marquee
Here are my 2006 photos of That Boy Peter Berlin at the premiere of That Man, the documentary about him PeterBerlin


Sent by Cindy Morse

Pumpkin pie being made

 

Revenge is sweet

 

The best tattoo ever, until he went to prison

 

How men screw up romance

 

Country lyrics such as, "If I'd shot you when I wanted to, I'd be out by now."

 

Sent by TRex

Yomama bin Shoppin

 

From Neatorama.com

Click for historical moments.

 

Click for faked deaths.

 

 

Best marriage proposal ever

 

 

Click for more human-shaped root.

 

 

Click for more photos of the real Simpson's house.

 

Fine Literature

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Unseen Academicals by Terry Pratchett, HarperCollins 2009

Terry Pratchett's books have sold 45,000,000 copies, and this may be the last, since he has Alzheimer's. It's as good as his others. Click here to see all his books.

Page 9 - A third proposition, that the city be governed by a choice of respectable members of the community who would promise not to give themselves airs or betray the public trust at every turn, was instantly the subject of music-hall jokes all over the city.

15 - ... and then the thing disappeared down another gloomy corridor, incessantly making that flat honking noise of the sort duck hunters make just before they are shot by other duck hunters.

17 - From above came the sound of a match being struck, and a circle of yellow light expanded on the ceiling as the candle that never went out was relit.

97 - The unofficial motto of Lady Sybil Free Hospital was "Not everybody dies."

121 - [Glenda thinking.] All Juliet needed was a prince. Technically that meant Lord Vetinari, but he was far too old. Besides, no one was sure which side of the bed he got out of, or even if he went to bed at all. But one day a prince would come, even if Glenda had to drag him on a chain.

154 - It was a female [dwarf] beard, she could tell. It looked styled and stylish and didn't have bits of rat in it.

160 - "Well, that's a thought," said Madame, "but I can't remember when I last had some depravity." "Tuesday," said Pepe.

175 - What was a back alley for except for sleeping tramps and the call of nature? Possibly in the same place if you were feeling cruel.

191 - "And you are telling me I'm wrong, are you?" "I would rather you thought of me as suggesting a way in which you could be even more right."

203 - "I believe I heard mention of a curry?" said Henry, with equal care. It was like listening to two ancient dragons talking to each other with the help of an even older book of etiquette written by nuns.

221 - It is said that if you want to stand up to someone you should picture them naked. In the case of Mrs. Whitlow this would be, as Ponder Stubbins might put it, contraindicated.

292 - "If you 'elp us catch up wiv him, I'll give you a big kiss," Juliet said. "There!" said the driver to Trev. "Why didn't you think of that?" "All right, I'll give you a kiss as well," said Trev. "No thanks, sir," said the driver, clearly enjoying himself.

311 - [Nutt on how he was created.] "The Igors did it. And they put in something very strange. It's a part of you that isn't quite a part of you. They called it the Little Brother. It's tucked deep inside and absolutely protected and it's like having your own hospital with you all the time. I know that I was hit very hard, but the Little Brother kept me alive and simply cured things again. There are ways to kill an orc, but there are not many of them, and anyone trying them on a living orc is not going to have very much time to get it right. Does that worry you at all?" "No, not really," said Glenda.

344 - A flood of humanity, well, mostly humanity, poured towards the stadium.

Click here to see all Terry Pratchett's books.

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The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time by Douglas Adams. Harmony Books 2002

These snippets and parts of a novel are what were found on the computer of Douglas Adams, author of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, after he died of a sudden heart attack in 2001. "I love deadlines," Adams said. "I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by." So there were a lot of unfinished pieces. His quest was always "to put a hundred thousand words in a cunning order."

Page 45 - Every country is like a particular type of person. America is like a belligerent adolescent boy, Canada is like an intelligent thirty-five-year-old woman. Australia is like Jack Nicholson.

47 - The hotel shop only had two decent books, and I'd written both of them.

49 - There was, I realized, a huge difference between telling people in England that I was GOING to Australia to do a comparative test drive between a Sub Bug and a manta ray, and telling people in Australia that I had COME to do a comparative test drive, etc.

53 - I tend to like local cooking unless I'm in Wales, and ...

65 - Wodehouse's entire genius was for being funny, and being funny in such a sublime way as to put mere poetry in the shade. The precision with which he plays upon every aspect of a word's character simultaneously Ñ its meaning, timbre, rhythm, the range of its idiomatic connections and flavors, would make Keats whistle.

95 - Anything invented after you're thirty-five is against the natural order of things.

102 - Oddly, the industry that is the primary engine of this incredible pace of change Ñ the computer industry Ñ turns out to be rather bad at predicting the future itself. There are two things in particular that it failed to foresee: one was the coming of the Internet, which, in an astonishingly short time, has become what the computer industry is now all about; the other was the fact that the century would end.

151 - (A wonderful story. Adams was sitting in a cafe with a coffee and a packet of cookies. A respectable man sat down across from him, picked up the packet, tore it open and ate a cookie. Adams was flabbergasted. He took a cookie himself. They alternated.] Finally, when we got to the end, he stood up and walked away. Well, we exchanged meaningful looks, then he walked away, and I breathed a sigh of relief and sat back. A moment or two later the train was coming in, so I tossed back the rest of my coffee, stood up, picked up my newspaper, and underneath the newspaper were my cookies. The thing I like particularly about this story is the sensation that somewhere in England there has been wandering around for the last quarter-century a perfectly ordinary guy who's had the same exact story, only he doesn't have the punch line.

228 - If the insurance company failed to pay up Ñ which seemed increasingly likely in light of the strategy that insurance companies had adopted in recent years, of merely advertising their services rather than actually providing them ...

 

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I Shudder: And Other Reactions to Life, Death, and New Jersey by Paul Rudnick, HarperCollins 2009

Paul Rudnick has written plays such as Jeffrey, and movies such as Sister Act, Addam's Family Values and In & Out.

Page 5 - The women began handling the various housewares as if they were uncut rubies, or newborn infants, to be adored and inspected for flaws.

13 - "So who decides who's the slave and who's the master?" Lil wondered. My mother, Hilda, and I exchanged a glance, and I'm pretty sure we were all thinking the same thing: Lil was definitely a top.

40 - "So how long have you been a nun?" As I asked this, I felt like I was hitting on her, and that we both needed to be holding long-necked beer bottles and scanning the room for someone hotter.

42 - The nun and I worshiped entirely different Madonnas.

72 - In a very still photograph, Peter wouldn't appear all that instantly, recognizably gay.

73 - Peter's adolescence was pure porn: he'd actually had sex with half the guys on his high school's football team. When I asked him how he'd managed to do this, he said, "I was just really friendly, and most of the guys' girlfriends wouldn't have sex with them, or not often, and I would."

84 - [When Allan Carr was wooing Paul to write a movie] I'd never been on a yacht, and the experience was everything I'd hoped for: appallingly ostentatious and irresistible luxury, like riding the waves while straddling enormous bales of cash.

103 - The child psychiatrist did ultimately tell my parents that, for all my weirdness, I was well-adjusted, and that they should probably just leave me alone and see what happened. "Like a time bomb," my mother later commented.

127 - [On the movie In & Out, starring Kevin Kline and Tom Selleck, about a gay man who gets outed during a pupil's Oscar acceptance speech] Debbie, in a wedding gown, tosses her bouquet into a mob of eager female guests. This activity had to be repeated many times, and Debbie revived the crowd by shouting, "All right, ladies! This time let's really feel it! Let's feel it in our vaginas!" 130 - [At a test screening one woman had raved about the movie on all counts, but then when asked if she would recommend the movie to friends, said, "Absolutely not."] And the woman, who'd otherwise had the time of her life, had scribbled, "Against God's law."

151 - "My favorite was the blind couple," I said, "because they were so devoted, and because the husband took me aside and whispered, 'So she's pretty, right? Really pretty? And she says she's twenty-eight, what do you think?'"

195 - ... in a jar of what was either organic baby food or raw sewage.

205 - I divided the group into children who were well-behaved because they were on scholarships, and the children who were well-behaved because they were on Ritalin.

226 - Most of the guys with the biceps and the trucker caps and the biker wallets were really design assistants and publicists, but that was fine, because that way you'd get the snarling ex-con fantasy without the smell.

263 - I listed each member of the family on one of those find-your-perfect-mate websites, and I had each person's profile say they were into "prayer, working with my hands, long buggy rides, and anal."

Late-Night-TV Zingers

November wins: Leno 6, O'Brien 5, Colbert 2, Ferguson 2, Letterman 2, Fallon 2, Kimmel 1, Handler 1

Click for all the best November zingers.

 

Late-Night Host Products

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Click to see my photo history of San Francisco's Castro.

 

Heck, you might as well check out all my books.

Click for free text

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. Milk is out on DVD (Left) and Blu-ray (right) .

Milk movie: photos and videos of the making of the film and the subsequent openings, award ceremonies, etc. See http://www.flickr.com/groups/milkmovie/

Other Books, CDs & DVDs I
Found Good &/or Funny

www.strangebillions.com/fun/

 

Here are Amazon.com's Current Top Gay Books.

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Amazon's Top Humor Books

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Amazon.com's Top Stand-Up Comic DVDs

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Kindle

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SF's Castro Home / SF's Castro October 2009 / SF's Castro December 2009 / Billions of Virgins in Ecstasy / Other Strange sites / e-mail Strange

© 2008, 2009 by Ash-Kar Press