Monday, May 3 Strangie goes to Jimmy Fallon: "President Obama says British Petroleum will be paying the bill for the oil spill. BP says, 'Bailout?'"

Tuesday, May 4 Strangie goes to Jon Stewart: "Explosion & the City 2: Great police work. We went from a man leaving a bomb in Times Square to 'You have the right to remain silent' in less time than it takes Sting to climax."

Wednesday, May 5 Strangie goes to David Letterman: "It's official. British Petroleum has now put more birds in oil than Colonel Sanders."

Thursday, May 6 Strangie goes to Stephen Colbert: "Franklin Roosevelt described our relationship with England as 'Allies with benefits.'"

Friday, May 7 Strangie goes to Craig Ferguson: "Yesterday so many guys got screwed on Wall Street they had to rename it Broadway."

Monday, May 10 Strangie goes to David Letterman: "Early humans mated with Neanderthals. I'm just sorry it didn't work out for Sandra Bullock."

Tuesday, May 11 Strangie goes to Jon Stewart: Jon showed Fox commentators saying the Gulf oil spill is "Obama's Katrina." Jon: "No matter what happens, there's a Bush complete screwup to compare it to."

Wednesday, May 12 Strangie goes to Jay Leno: "When Betty White started, celebrity sex tapes were silent. And she was in one of the first talkies."

Thursday, May 13 Strangie goes to Jimmy Kimmel: "It's day 24 of the Gulf Spillapalooza. You know, once a beach goes black, it may never go back."

Friday, May 14 Strangie goes to Craig Ferguson: "NBC canceled 'Law & Order' after 20 years to make way for the new Jay Leno show 'Jaw & Order.'"

Monday, May 17 Strangie goes to Jay Leno: "Sarah Palin and George Bush both have books coming out this fall. I predict a national shortage of crayons."

Tuesday, May 18 Strangie goes to Craig Ferguson: "It's also Enya's birthday. Not many people know her last name is Face."

Wednesday, May 19 Strangie goes to Jimmy Fallon: "Unattractive defendants are 22% more likely to be convicted than attractive ones. But attractive ones have more trouble after they're convicted."

Thursday, May 20 Strangie goes to Jay Leno: "Family values Indiana Representative Mark Souder used to take a member of his staff to state parks for sex, what Republicans mean by 'opening up public lands for drilling.'"

Friday, May 21 Strangie goes to Jimmy Fallon: "The BP president said the company would survive. That's like someone running over your dog and saying, 'Don't worry, my car's fine.'"