Here I am June 26 in my
"Nobody Knows I'm a Lesbian" tee in the Castro Muni station in front of
the poster for Armistead Maupin's "Tales of the City" musical. If I
upload this photo to facebook.com/talesofthecitymusical I can win
fabulous prizes. But right now I'm heading for the LGBT Pride Parade.
Here's Sonny & Cher's
transgender child, Celebrity Grand Marshal Chaz Bono, ready to join the
June Strangies: O'Brien 5, Leno 4, Fallon 3, Ferguson
2, Letterman 2, Colbert
(Note: I missed June 27 - 30 because I was on vacation.)
Wednesday, June 1 Strangie to Craig Ferguson: New York
Weiner is in a bit of hot water. His Twitter account was hacked,
allegedly, and someone sent a picture of his junior senator to a
college girl. This is good news for me, because now I can go on the CBS
computer and Google "Weiner photos" and not get fired. "I'm
Thursday, June 2 Strangie to Stephen Colbert: Dancing on the Ceiling:
Congress has rejected raising
the debt ceiling, so if China calls, let it go to voicemail.
Friday, June 3 Strangie to Craig
Ferguson: Like all Cold Play songs I
didn't think I'd like it, but I did. My fingers started snapping, my
toes started tapping, and my balls disappeared.
Monday, June 6 Strangie to Jay Leno:
Today Steve Jobs introduced iCloud, which could revolutionize the way
Anthony Weiner sends pictures of his penis.
Tuesday, June 7 Strangie to David
Letterman: Pawlenty, Romney or
Gingrich. Barack Obama looks at these guys and wishes he hadn't spent
the money on the new birth certificate.
Wednesday, June 8 Strangie to Jay
Leno: Today Weiner sent his wife a picture of his penis with a little
sad face on it.
Thursday, June 9 Strangie to Conan
O'Brien: Steve Jobs announced they're
building a new headquarters for Apple, to be replaced in 6 months by a
thinner headquarters with a crappy camera.
Friday, June 10 Strangie to Jimmy
Fallon: Thank you, Miami Heat logo, for looking like the inside of a
Taco Bell toilet.
Monday, June 13 Strangie to Conan O'Brien:
has entered a treatment program. Amazingly, it's the only thing he's
entered during the entire Weinergate scandal.
Tuesday, June 14 Strangie to Conan
O'Brien: President Obama said he'd be OK being a one-term President.
And with that he shoved an iPhone down his pants and pressed "send."
Wednesday, June 15 Strangie to Jimmy
Kimmel: Natalie Portman has given birth to a healthy baby boy, though
her body double is complaining she did most of the labor. Natalie's 1st
son was Luke Skywalker, so this new one has a lot to live up to.
Thursday, June 16 Strangie to Conan O'Brien: What
movie title best describes your penis? Andy Richter: "Little Miss
Friday, June 17 Strangie to Jimmy
Fallon: Former Astronaut Buzz Aldrin is getting a divorce from his
third wife, Lois. It was weird when they started dividing up their
stuff: "That's one giant stepladder for Buzz, one small lamp for Lois."
Monday, June 20 Strangie to Jay
Leno: Jay's 100-year-old guest was holding onto her hat with both hands
when a kid warned her that her skirt was blowing up and people could
see everything she'd got. She told him, "I don't care. Anything down
there is a hundred years old. This is a brand new hat."
Tuesday, June 21 Strangie to Conan O'Brien: Tracy
Morgan apologized for his homophobic comments. "I'm sorry for my
remarks. That was totally gay of me."
Wednesday, June 22 Strangie to Jay
Leno: Did you see that clip where a crying baby is handed to President
Obama and it immediately stops crying. Do you know how rare that is,
that a politician is handed a baby that's not his.
Thursday, June 23 Strangie to David
Letterman: Cameron Diaz opens this weekend as the "Bad Teacher." She's
so bad she tells the kids a completely incorrect version of the Paul
Friday, June 24 Strangie to Jimmy
Fallon: A first edition Charles Darwin book was returned to a library
in Australia 122 years late. You could tell it was a Darwin book
because it had evolved into an iPad.