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Castro Photos, Funny Videos, Pictures & Late-Night-TV Zingers

by Strange de Jim

February 2010

 

Castro Photos

The Rainbow Flag at the corner of Castro and Market

 

The Cafe Flore decorated for Chinese New Year

 

Wow! The Cafe Flore is cracking down!.

 

Fun Videos

Letterman, Oprah, Leno Super Bowl ad

It was Dave's idea. Oprah agreed and then Dave called Jay, who flew secretly to New York and sneaked into the Ed Sullivan Theater in disguise. Afterwards on his show Jay gushed about how he and Dave were friends again. On his show Dave said he'd like to thank the actors who played Jay and Oprah.

Wanda Sykes answer to "Pants on the Ground," "Boobs Out Your Blouse"

 

The Declaration of Independence as you've never seen it.
They rock out at the end.

 

Jimmy Fallon "Lost" parody

 

An adorable little girl's 911 call

 

Jimmy Kimmel "American Idol" drawings. Watch the ending.

 

Jimmy Kimmel Charlie Brown Tiger Woods Valentines

 

Jimmy Kimmel putting the Octomom on "The Dating Game"

 

Jimmy Kimmel Rebuttal to Pro-Life ad

 

Olympic Gold Medalist "Sex Bomb"

 

"Symphony of Science" with major scientists from Carl Sagan to Stephen Hawking

 

Teacher giving lap dance to another teacher. The video went viral. Both were suspended.

 

Undercover "Bolero"

 

"We Are the Champions" in Tatar

 

From Neatorama.com

Click for more awesome benches.

 

Click for inheritance stories.

 

Click for apartment buildings.

 

Click for neologisms.

 

Click to romance novel yourself.

 

Click for sticky moments.

 

 

You choose.

Books I Enjoyed

When my mother did finally come home with my baby sister, I was very annoyed. She was a whiney little fartball who constantly stole my thunder, but eventually she grew up to be one of the funniest people I know, although she can still be both farty and whiney. She now works as a writer on my television show, where I shamelessly exploit her for my own profit. Sweet revenge.

It was San Francisco, after all; if you're a guy and you're worried about the girl you like hooking up with someone on her vacation, I suppose San Francisco is the safest bet, assuming she doesn't give her heart to a lesbian Ñ and who among us hasn't done that?

Milo came into the world, a sticky, angry, and slightly confused mess, just like his dad.

[Becomes late-night host] A little bit of cool goes a long way; it lands on you if you are a late-night talk-show host. Consider the other guys: if Dave wasn't the king of late night he'd just be a cranky old man who drives too fast. Jay would be a weirdly needy mechanic, and Conan would have kids following him down the street calling him names. Without his show Jimmy Fallon is just a thirty-five-year-old giggly adolescent; and Jimmy Kimmel is a cool guy, but he'd be the first to admit he's not cool Ñ in another life he'd be a genial maitre d'.

 

In retirement Sherlock Holmes befriends and accepts as a partner Mary Russell, a 15-year-old tomboy with a mind as sharp as his own. She tells the story.

"My God," he [Sherlock] said in a voice of mock wonder, "it can think."
"My God, it can recognize another human being when it's hit over the head with one." For good measure I added, "And to think that I was raised to believe that old people had decent manners."
"Young man, ..."
"'Young man!'" That did it. Rage swept into my veins, filling me with power. Granted I was far from voluptuous, granted I was dressed in practical, that is, male, clothing - this was not to be borne. ... With a surge of glee I seized the weapon he had placed in my hands and drew back for the coupe de grace. "Young man?" I repeated. "It's a damned good thing that you did retire, if that's all that remains of the great detective's mind!" With that I reached for the brim of my oversized cap and my long blonde plaits slithered down over my shoulders.
A series of emotions crossed his face, rich reward for my victory. Simple surprise was followed by a rueful admission of defeat, and then, as he reviewed the entire discussion, he surprised me. His face relaxed, his thin lips twitched, his grey eyes crinkled into unexpected lines, and at last he threw back his head and gave a great shout of delighted laughter. That was the first time I heard Sherlock Holmes laugh, and although it was far from the last, it never ceased to surprise me, seeing that proud, ascetic face dissolve into helpless laughter. His amusement was always at least partially at himself, and this time was no exception. I was totally disarmed.

Late-Night-TV Zingers

Monday, February 1 winner: David Letterman: "Chemical Ali got hanged. He's survived by his wife, Chemical Shirley, and his son, Chemical Andy." [Showed a photo of Andy Dick.]

Tuesday, February 2 winner: David Letterman: "CBS rejected a gay dating commercial during the Super Bowl. That seems hypocritical. They ran ads with straight guys during the Tonys."

Wednesday, February 3 winner: Jimmy Fallon: "The top officer in the Navy wants to end 'don't ask, don't tell.' What does the bottom officer think?"

Thursday, February 4 winner: David Letterman: "That young model Jesus has dumped Madonna because she was trying to install a senior grab bar on him."

Friday, February 5 winner: David Letterman: "A guy got on a plane with 44 tranquilized lizards in his underpants. Imagine letting a lizard crawl into your underpants, if you're not Mrs. Larry King."

Monday, February 8 winner: David Letterman, who ended the show by saying, "And once again I'd like to thank the actors who played Jay and Oprah in our Super Bowl commercial."

Tuesday, February 9 winner: Stephen Colbert, who showed an ad "Celebrate Black History Month with Heineken:" "Because without Dutch merchant ships there wouldn't even be African-Americans, just Africans."

Wednesday, February 10 winner: David Letterman: "People are making fun of Sarah Palin for writing crib notes for her speeches on her hand, but I'll tell you, that's how I got through my wedding night."

Thursday, February 11 winner: David Letterman: "Sarah Palin is 46 today. John McCain sent her a Toyota."

Friday, February 12 winner: David Letterman: "At the Olympics the American flag was carried in, of course, by the Salahis."

Monday, February 15 winner: David Letterman: "Sarah Palin was at the finish line of the Daytona 500 waving her checkered past."

Tuesday, February 16 winner: Craig Ferguson: To guest Bob Saget: "How did you turn into Bob Saget after such a promising start?"

Wednesday, February 17 winner: Craig Ferguson: E-mail: "Dear Craig, When's a good time to tell a boy you're straight and not interested in having sex with him?" Craig: "After sex."

Thursday, February 18 winner: David Letterman: "Toyota says, 'Don't complain to us. That's what the horn's for.'"

Friday, February 19 winner: David Letterman: "Two Olympic athletes have been banned for drug use, and one Swiss biathlon member has been arrested for murder."

Monday, February 22 winner: Craig Ferguson: "You're better off borrowing from the Mafia. They'll break your legs, but they won't take your house or ruin your credit rating."

Tuesday, February 23 winner: Jimmy Kimmel: "Yesterday Oprah's set was made entirely of chocolate. This is what happens when Oprah gets high. Dr. Oz thought he was inside Oprah's colon."

Wednesday, February 24 winner: Jimmy Kimmel: "Another big snowstorm on the East Coast. I think it's pretty clear God is punishing them for 'Jersey Shore.'"

Thursday, February 25 winner: Jon Stewart on the Bipartisan Health Care Reform Summit: "I've always been bipartisan curious."

Friday, February 26 winner: Jimmy Kimmel: "Simon Cowell got down on one knee and told his girlfriend she was the least disgusting woman he knew. I wouldn't want to be the band that plays at that reception."

February wins: Letterman 11, Ferguson 3, Kimmel 3, Fallon 1, Colbert 1, Stewart 1

For all the February late-night jokes click here.

Late-Night Host Products

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Click to see my photo history of San Francisco's Castro.

 

Heck, you might as well check out all my books.

Click for free text

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. Milk is out on DVD (Left) and Blu-ray (right) .

Milk movie: photos and videos of the making of the film and the subsequent openings, award ceremonies, etc. See http://www.flickr.com/groups/milkmovie/

Other Books, CDs & DVDs I
Found Good &/or Funny

www.strangebillions.com/fun/

 

Here are Amazon.com's Current Top Gay Books.

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Amazon's Top Humor Books

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Amazon.com's Top Stand-Up Comic DVDs

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Kindle

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