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Castro Photos, Funny Pictures & Late-Night-TV Zingers

by Strange de Jim

February 2008


Castro Photos

My memoirs Billions of Virgins in Ecstasy are gracing the window of Books Inc. on Market Street.


Here's my roomie Stephen (l.) with artist Don Ross at his opening at a gallery on Market Street.


The Castro Theatre is being restored to the way it looked in the 1970s for the shooting of Milk, Gus Van Sant's movie about Harvey Milk.


In fact, two blocks of Castro Street are being restored to the way they looked in the '70s. My friend Andrea Jacobson poses in front of Aquarius Records.


Here's the way the famous Toad Hall used to look.


This is the brilliant Milk screenwriter Dustin Lance Black.


Harvey Milk's close friend Dan Nicoletta sits in front of Harvey's camera store. Dan is played in the movie by Lucas Grabeel of High School Musical.



Dan is one of the photographers on the movie. Here he is at work.


We walked up the street, and Dan made the sparkling Connie Champagne buy a copy of my book.


Here are onlookers watching a scene being filmed inside Harvey's camera shop.


A copy of my book is lurking behind Dr. John Newmeyer and community leader and columnist Donna Sachet at a party at John's house.


This is the closing party at the Harvey Milk Branch of the public library for two years of renovations.


David, the new barrista at Cafe Flore has a tee saying he'd rather be muff diving. Good taste costs no more.


Olivia Hussey and Leonard Whiting were Romeo and Juliet in the 1968 masterpiece. Marc Huestis brought Olivia to the Castro Theatre for a 40th anniversary reshowing. Her interview on-stage was fascinating.

I was the guest of David Nahmod, who'd just interviewed me for the Bay Area Reporter. As soon as Romeo and Juliet started, the film broke. Luckily David had brought a DVD to be autographed, so Marc Huestis showed that, and it worked perfectly.


Here's Olivia thanking David afterwards for saving the show.


And here's Olivia posing with me. That's her daughter India in the background.


L. to r. we have yours truly, actor George Maguire, actor Andrew Nance, my roomie Stephen and AIDS lecturer Marcus Mitchinson. We're at the New Conservatory Theater where Andrew is starring in I Am My Own Wife, about a gay man under the Communist regime in East Berlin.


Sent by Cindy Morse

Sent by Gregg Slapak

Click for Achmed video.

Sarah Silverman tells her boyfriend Jimmy Kimmel a secret on his late-night talk show.

Click for she's screwing Matt Damon video.

[Note: later, on Oscar night, Jimmy Kimmel will have some news for Mz. Silverman.]

This video has cameos by Brad Pitt and a whole host of big stars.

Click for video.

From Neatorama.com

Click for ice photos.


A Fascinating Book


Tom Cruise: An Unauthorized Biography by Andrew Morton, St. Martin's Press, 2008, $28.95

Page 43 - He often talked about being a self-made millionaire by the time he was thirty, and had a standing bet with his great friend Michael LaForte that the first one to earn a million dollars would buy the other a Mercedes. It was a bet he never honored, a failing that still rankles with some members of the Glen Ridge Brat Pack.

49 - "We were all struggling actors, and when he made it he never made any attempt to help us out."

65 - "They started dating again, and one night he called her [Nancy Armel} to say that he had tickets for a new musical on Broadway, La Cage aux Folles. Tom was unaware of the story line Ñ about two gay men living together in St. Tropez, where one of them runs a nightclub featuring drag artists Ñ until they had taken their seats in the theater. As Nancy recalled: "Men dressed as women, he couldn't handle it. We had to leave before the intermission. It really bothered him. He was definitely homophobic."

67 - A frequent comment was that he liked to expose the vulnerability of others and then crush them Ñ perhaps reenacting his own father's behavior toward the young Tom Cruise."

77 - At thirty-nine, his new girlfriend, Cher, was nearer in age to his mother than to the twenty-three-year-old actor, but she was 24-carat movie royalty, their outings guaranteed to make headlines and keep Tom's name in the news.

97 - The elite, who had reached the upper levels, were seen as superhuman beings who, Hubbard claimed, could communicate telepathically, leave their bodies at will, move inanimate objects with their minds, and be totally free from the physical universe. ... It is possibly the greatest story ever sold: customers paying up to $500,000, or more in today's terms, to progress ...

103 - As for the gay community, Hubbard wrote in his book The Science of Survival that if the Scientology road to salvation was unsuccessful, the solution was "to dispose of them quietly and without sorrow." The dark heart of Scientology was a bizarre, closed world, hidden from public view or examination, that reflected the megalomania of the cult's founder. Even Hubbard's second wife, Sara Northrup, described the cult leader as someone who was "hopelessly insane" and should be committed.

104 - During the 1960s and '70s, Hubbard built up the biggest private intelligence service in the world, hiding behind the shield of the First Amendment to attack, harass, and defame. Church intelligence agents were taught how to make anonymous death threats, smear perceived critics, forge documents, and plan and execute burglaries.

132 - David Miscavige - "They are both driven, demanding, focused perfectionists Ñ let's call it the Short Man Syndrome."

143 - The art of lying forms an integral part of sacred Scientology scriptures, and one of the entry-level courses, on communication, teaches effective techniques for "outflowing false data."

210 - [With kids on boat in Australia after MI2] During the voyage, they hit a reef, the motor conked out, and a Jet Ski hit the boat's side. When flames from the onboard barbecue flared too high, Tom threw it overboard Ñ becoming, as one wag noted, the first actor in Australian history to throw a barbie on the shrimp.

222 - [Divorce from Nicole. She'd just miscarried, and Tom was claiming it was from a lover.] Shrewdly, he [Nicole's lawyer] advised her to save some of the fetal tissue in case DNA tests were ever needed to prove the baby's paternity. A story was leaked to the National Enquirer about her decision to store the DNA. It was a brilliant move, putting Tom's camp in a no-win position. In order for Tom to refute Nicole's versions of events, he would have to take her to court to prove that the "World's Sexiest Man" was not the father of his wife's child. Even Pellicano, who had a soft spot for Nicole even though he was working against her, acknowledged that Tom had been outmaneuvered.

223 - As Nicole reconnected with Catholicism, she feared that Scientology would attempt to discredit her. If she needed any reminder of the danger, a story in the National Enquirer said that Nicole had made a number of taped confessions during her Scientology audit sessions in which she "bared her soul" and suggested that these personal details might be used against her, especially if there was a battle for custody of their children.

228 - Even though Tom has successfully Ñ and rightly Ñ won every legal battle about his sexuality, at the time of writing he seems to have lost the war. There are more than 2 million Internet sites today relating to "Tom Cruise gay" Ñ slightly more than for a similar heartthrob, Brad Pitt, who has never taken legal action and has publicly stated he will not marry Angelina Jolie until gay marriage is acceptable in America.

289 - Some sect members truly believed that Katie Holmes was carrying the baby who would be the vessel for L. Ron Hubbard's spirit when he returned from his trip around the galaxy.

291 - Famously humorless Ñ and litigious Ñ in the face of speculation about his religion and his sexuality, he had little to laugh at later in November 2005 when the cartoon series South Park screened an episode, provocatively entitled "Trapped in the Closet," that poked fun at Scientology and the endlessly mutating rumors about his sexual orientation. It was bad enough that the half-hour show, penned by series creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker, already had a running joke in which Tom refused to leave a clothes closet, the implication being that he was refusing to acknowledge his homosexuality. But perhaps more damaging was the tongue-in-cheek explanation of Scientology's creationist myth, dealing with how the evil warlord Xenu sent millions of people to Earth to be blown up, their spirits floating in eternal torment. Not only was the exposition of the myth highly accurate Ñ Stone and Parker had used a Scientology expert to write a background paper Ñ there was a caption underneath that read: THIS IS WHAT SCIENTOLOGISTS ACTUALLY BELIEVE. It was comedy genius, both funny and informative, eventually earning the show an Emmy nomination. Indeed, Steven Spielberg later told friends that he had learned more about Scientology from South Park than he ever had from Tom Cruise.

295 - When Tom announced that he was going to eat the baby's placenta, it was consistent with the bizarre nature of Katie's pregnancy.

300 - The consensus in Hollywood, particularly at his parent company, Paramount, was that Tom's proselytizing on behalf of Scientology had cost up to $100 million in profits. This was a high crime in Hollywood, where you can worship any God you like, so long as it is Mammon.

Late-Night-TV Zingers

(I was only able to do a few days this month.)

2/11/08: Dave Letterman: "Did you see Alicia Keys' dress? It looked like a couple of bald guys peeking through a construction fence."
Jay Leno: "California is going to start taking prostitutes' drivers licenses. We're going to have hookers out walking the streets."
Larry the Cable Guy's diet: "I have plates with Rosie O'Donnell's face on them." "My cousin picked up a Chinese prostitute, and now he has lead poisoning."
Craig Ferguson: "Paris Hilton's movie made only $176 per theater. It costs more than that to spend the night in a Hilton. Or get a room in the hotel."

2/12/08: Jay Leno: "Hillary got the pants suit beat off her." "A baby was cloned from two women and a man. Is that a menage a tot?"
Conan O'Brien: "Up until his DUI arrest Barron Hilton was only famous for being the only guy who hasn't slept with Paris Hilton."

2/19/08: Dave Letterman: "Fidel Castro will be succeeded by his brother Raul Castro or his idiot son Fidel W. Castro."

2/24/08: Jimmy Kimmel on the memorial segment of the Oscars: "They showed all those dead people and then forgot to announce the winner."

2/25/08: Dave Letterman: "Diablo Cody, a former hooker, won an Oscar last night. That hasn't happened since Katherine Hepburn in 1982." Paul in Katherine Hepburn's voice: "I'll be taking my bra off now."

2/26/08: Jay Leno: "Kirstie Alley wasn't dumped by Jenny Craig. She left them for Ben & Jerry."

2/29/08: Jay Leno: "Michael Jackson will hate to lose Neverland Ranch. He has such fondling memories. This is the kid's room, and the kid's room, and another kid's room ..."

Click to see my photo history of San Francisco's Castro.


Heck, you might as well check out all my books.

Click for free text

. . .


Books, CDs & DVDs I
Found Good &/or Funny



Here are Amazon.com's Current Top Gay Books.



Amazon's Top Humor Books



Amazon.com's Top Stand-Up Comic DVDs






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