S.F.'s Castro Home / SF's Castro November 2009 / SF's Castro January 2010 / Billions of Virgins in Ecstasy / Other Strange sites / e-mail Strange

1

Castro Photos, Funny Videos, Pictures & Late-Night-TV Zingers

by Strange de Jim

December 2009

 

Castro Photos

Given, 575 Castro, gave an opening party for artist Colin Price (center) in front of three of his paintings, which will be on sale until February. On the left is clerk/artist Matt Gibbons and on the right is owner Nick Romero.

See www.givenonline.com.

 

Here's the Castro's Christmas tree on Castro at 18th.

 

Someone hung mistletoe over the sidewalk at various convenient locations.

 

Jack from The Nightmare Before Christmas watched over festivities at the Cafe Flore.

 

Christmas day Santa rested up from his long night by smoking medical marijuana atop the Cafe Flore.

 

Fun Videos

Bocelli and Elmo sing.

 

A clock is redrawn by hand.

 

A Hermes window display

 

Kitty bank

 

Muppet "Ode to Joy"

 

Sacred Spirit Yeha Noha

 

The Simpsons opening in Estonia

 

Wedding Twitter update

 

Sent by Cindy Morse

Sent by Bill McBride

Keeping up with the Joneses

 

Sent by Patrick Treadway

 

From Neatorama.com

Click for 2009 photos.

 

Click for freaky ads.

 

Click for beautiful bridges.

 

Click for best media errors.

 

Click for Dave Barry's review.

 

 

National Geographic photo winners.

Click for National Geographic photo winners.

 

Click for photos from space.

 

Click for Facebook stories

 

Click for ridiculous laws.

 

Click for flash mobs.

 

Top 20 Internet Lists

Click for internet lists.

Mensa Invitational sent by Laurie Riffe

Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are:
1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate, v.. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4 esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline..
11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n.. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men

"If you 'elp us catch up wiv him, I'll give you a big kiss," Juliet said.
"There!" said the driver to Trev. "Why didn't you think of that?"
"All right, I'll give you a kiss as well," said Trev.
"No thanks, sir," said the driver, clearly enjoying himself.

Glenda, who had been watching them with a fascinated horror, said, "And I'll give you a kiss as well if you like." She couldn't help noticing that this didn't move the stakes either way.

****

[Nutt on how he was created.] "The Igors did it. And they put in something very strange. It's a part of you that isn't quite a part of you. They called it the Little Brother. It's tucked deep inside and absolutely protected and it's like having your own hospital with you all the time. I know that I was hit very hard, but the Little Brother kept me alive and simply cured things again. There are ways to kill an orc, but there are not many of them, and anyone trying them on a living orc is not going to have very much time to get it right. Does that worry you at all?"
"No, not really," said Glenda.

 

Late-Night-TV Zingers

Tuesday, December 1 winner Craig Ferguson: "Women get push up bras. Why don't we get push up briefs?"

Wednesday, December 2 winner Jay Leno: "Tiger Woods is now the favorite to win the Ryder Cup. How could he cheat on his wife, who's clearly a 19? That's a 10 with a 9 iron."

Thursday, December 3 winner Conan O'Brien: "One of Tiger's mistresses said she got a text from him saying that the next time they got together he was going to 'wear her out.' Even in sex he likes to psych out his opponent."

Friday, December 4 winner Conan O'Brien: "The guy who invented the Hokey Pokey has died at 104. His last words were, 'I can't believe that's what it's all about."

Extra winner Seth Meyers on "SNL:" "No Pubic Option: Last Friday Tiger Woods hit a tree and a bunch of ladies fell out."

Monday, December 7 winner Craig Ferguson: "Today the seventh woman came forward. This is like 'Spartacus:' 'I am Tiger's mistress.' 'I am Tiger's mistress.' One of the mistresses is supposed to be a TV personality. I hope it's me."

Tuesday, December 8 winner Conan O'Brien: "It's freezing. People in L.A. who saw their breaths for the first time thought their spirits were leaving their bodies."

Wednesday, December 9 winner David Letterman: "Today Tiger Woods was arrested for trying to steal back his sports memorabilia."

Thursday, December 10 winner Jay Leno: "What do you call parents who wait too long to tell their kids the facts of life? Grandparents."

Friday, December 11 winner Jimmy Kimmel: "On his website doingit.com Tiger says he's taking a leave from golf. To get back in everybody's good graces he's going to have to find Osama bin Laden."

Monday, December 14 winner Jimmy Fallon: "It must be hard for Tiger to give up golf. It's his second-favorite thing."

Tuesday, December 15 winner Stephen Colbert: "Here's to Hermaphrepublican Joe Lieberman. For he's a jowly good fellow. Your coverage will be denied."

Wednesday, December 16 winner Stephen Colbert: "Tiger's losing his endorsements. Companies are finding out he was endorsing other companies on the side."

Thursday, December 17 winner David Letterman: "'Avatar' cost $500 million, the most expensive movie ever made, unless it turns out there's a Tiger Woods video."

Friday, December 18 winner Jimmy Kimmel: "A 22-year-old's virginity comes to a shrieking end this weekend when Kevin Jonas trades his purity ring for a wedding ring, an impurity ring. Monday his brothers are going to have a lot of questions for him."

Monday, December 21 winner Jay Leno: "The House is debating a law that would make it illegal for commercials to be louder than the programs. The only program not affected would be 'The View.'"

Tuesday, December 22 winner Craig Ferguson: "The guy next to me on the plane pulled down his tray and started addressing Christmas cards. I'd had no idea he was gay. So I opened my pants and fell asleep."

Wednesday, December 23 winner David Letterman: "At my house Christmas eve we're going to build a big roaring fire in the fireplace, get the Regis Philbin Christmas CD, and throw it into the flames."

All shows in reruns December 24 - 31.

For all the December late-night jokes click here.

Late-Night Host Products

. . . . .

. . . . .

. . . . .

. . . . .

. . . . .

 

Click to see my photo history of San Francisco's Castro.

 

Heck, you might as well check out all my books.

Click for free text

. . .

 

. Milk is out on DVD (Left) and Blu-ray (right) .

Milk movie: photos and videos of the making of the film and the subsequent openings, award ceremonies, etc. See http://www.flickr.com/groups/milkmovie/

Other Books, CDs & DVDs I
Found Good &/or Funny

www.strangebillions.com/fun/

 

Here are Amazon.com's Current Top Gay Books.

.

 

Amazon's Top Humor Books

.

 

Amazon.com's Top Stand-Up Comic DVDs

.

Kindle

. .

SF's Castro Home / SF's Castro November 2009 / SF's Castro January 2010 / Billions of Virgins in Ecstasy / Other Strange sites / e-mail Strange

© 2008, 2009 by Ash-Kar Press